i wish i could write down how i honestly feel and why i am this way.

from another person's viewpoint, i hear it and i don't think it's true.

i'm not a strong enough person to crumble myself to the bitter critiquing from someone else.

and from my own viewpoint, i only let myself down from trying to stand firm behind flimsy support.

it's like a chair leg that constantly falls off.

sometimes i wish i could be a little weaker. or a little wiser. so i would have enough common sense to stop trying to wing it through every problem in my life.

enough common sense to use and find the solutions other people try.

i don't know how i get so angry, or where all my rage comes from. i feel like i'm growing more and more pessimistic and upset with myself and life as days go by. and when i'm set off, i explode and i don't even know who i am when i scream and tear at people's faces.

i wish i knew why i was so angry.

i have a feeling that i am angry at myself, but i wish i could say it in a sentence... why.

because i can say a million things that i'm upset about, but i can't pinpoint the one thing that really just kills me.

but i think it'd be best if i figured it out sometime soon.