Song: Badly Drawn Boy - Another Devil Dies

life is interesting. the ironies it brings and... what ... whoever it is... makes us deal with. i don't know what i should call him lol. but. yeah that's what i've been trying to figure out lately. what it exactly is about. and why things are the way things are. i'm so confused that my concentration is now based upon it and it really doesn't tie together much either cuz i don't get it haha.

but.

sometimes there are those beautiful moments. when you have been waiting for so long... for something to happen. maybe for someone to do something. or when you are just listening to that one song and you have never really paid attention to it. or when you're stressed and lie in bed and let go.

but lately i don't know. i have those moments. like where i think about the things that have been left with who i am. and i am glad i have who i have and glad that i do what i do and glad that i'm blessed with what i'm blessed with.

but i still can't understand why some things are the way they are. when you know it could be so much better and you just know in your heart that that's right. you just want to scream out and jump up and down with your fists clenched and tell the sky to fix itself and stop falling, but you have this cork stuck in your throat at your collarbone and your heart feels like it just might burst with everything you aren't allowed to feel. i don't want things to become bittersweet, because that means it happened. and who's to know what could have been. what is there really worth throwing away. we're not refrigerators, we're human beings.

i guess it was just last night. recognition can only come from the person you want to hear it from most. yet an eye for an eye is like a bullet to the chest. i can't say i haven't tried. because i know i do.

i just don't understand why everyone listens.

i don't know what's going on, actually.

i don't understand.

but. anyways.

thanks for the flower christine. it made me smile a lot ha.

and will you ever see my lines of eyes ever again, only you can tell.

thank you.

<3 frances