Song: Gavin Degraw - Follow Through

Idk. I have so much I want to say, haha. My head is filled to the brim with diary entries I've wanted to write since I left, hahaha. Isn't that lame.

I wasn't looking forward to going to Providence. First of all, it's in Rhode Island. How could anything in RI be interesting. It's friggin' RI. I wasn't looking forward to not seeing Jason or any of my friends for 2-3 weeks. I'm so used to holding everything close to me. Like Christine told me, we all live in a bubble. RI was not part of my bubble. Haha. The class itself didn't sound very interesting. Leadership and Global Engagement?! and the other one that the rest of the kids were taking was Leadership and Conflict/Resolution. Honestly, now. Hahaha. It sounded so boring.

But yeah, of course, I was wrong.

The leadership camp was kind of cut off from the rest of the pre-college summer program at Brown. It was just like 50 kids in their own little leadership haven, hahaha. But I guess it was better that way because we all became so close.

Just the class in general and the Providence area was amazing. It makes you want to stay there and somehow change the world, haha. My sister told me that Brown is the most liberal university in the US haha. I can't disagree. Everything there is so.. considerate. The coffee shops all aim towards selling fair-trade coffee rather than free-trade, so the coffee growers aren't ripped off. The grocery stores all aim at selling fair-trade produce. Fair-trade everything. chocolate, shoes, bananas, haha. And the stores refuse to sell clothes made in sweat-shops. There was such an abundance of independence with all the little small shops and boutiques and whatever. Instead of here in Texas where the republicans sound rude when bashing the democrats.. it's different there. Brown is about 100% democrat, haha but they are reasonable about it. If they protest, it's like intellectual and factual and.. more credible. Idk. everyone is trying to change the world.

asflkjasd. and I miss the people.

they weren't what i expected. I was expecting lots of nerds. and people who didn't want to talk or have fun. but no, they were all deep and thoughtful. spanning all cliches. haha. in all directions.

there's just so many things i miss. so many things i wish i could've taken home w/ me and kept here with me.

i miss the freedom. the ability to walk freely, love freely, speak freely, whatever. time was rarely a barrier. rarely. and that's never characteristic of my life here. i miss going to all the little vintage shops. i miss seeing the bikers at night. i miss eating in the cafeteria. i miss courteney's daily cheese quesadilla. i miss walking on Thayer. i miss walking uphill back from the mall and dying. i miss newbury comics. i miss sitting on the lawn outside metcalf hall. i miss lying in the grass. i miss singing spice girls, britney spears, and 80's/90's music. i miss DANCING to it. i miss reading on courteney's bed. i miss sleeping on courteney's bed. i miss eating courteney's food. i miss sneaking down to 1st floor and knocking on jace's door then running back up. i miss the patio on 2nd floor. i miss courteney's laugh. i miss license plates, car colors, etc. i miss dog food cereal. i miss courteney's fear of bugs and then hitting you if there's one on you. i miss sitting in the lounge watching movies. i miss courtland singing team america, lol. i miss johnny rockets, coldstone, chips and salsa. i miss running to store24 10 minutes b4 curfew just to get chips and salsa. and then realizing the chips were made in frito lay in PLANO! haha. and then buying soda, and realizing the dr. pepper was from PLANO! hahaha. and then using a calculator in class and realizing it was from.. NEXT TO PLANO! hahaha. i miss fasting for a day and raising over $700. i miss making earrings. i miss laughing and then making a straight face. i miss waking hannah up in the morning. i miss escaping filene's w/ hannah. i miss h&m. i miss the humidity, lol. i miss the algae water, ha. i miss skipping rocks. i miss jared killing the bumble bee. i miss falling backwards. i miss rolling down hills. i miss the pickle. i miss asshole. i miss harry erect johnson, haha. i miss claude sleeping in front of amy's door. i miss finding ID's on the floor and holding them for ransom. i miss girl talks. i miss having a smoke bomb thrown at us. i miss body spelling! i miss waving at policemen. i miss running in front of cars and having hannah or courteney save me. i miss talking to jace and courteney on AIM in the library. i miss stealing posters. i miss scaring the speaker, hahaha.

i miss being in a place that is so full of intellectual freedom.

but i guess i missed home too.
i definitely missed my friends.

sigh.

aslkjasd. it's just like. after all of this, you just don't want to lose anything. you want to keep building these relationships and having them mean so much. you want to change people and change the world. you want to go tell mcdonalds to stop making people fat and tell starbucks to stop slaving farmers in colombia, haha. you want to lie in the grass with your friend, stare up at the clouds or stars, and laugh at the way they laugh. and talk about how one day we'll see eachother again. it's not the end, it's just a break. a hiatus. a space in the sentence. the paragraph has yet to resume.

you know?

everything just needs to be more meaningful.

what's the point in throwing something away, if everything can be meaningful.

you know?

aslkjasd. idk. hahahaha. :)

ok. pictures are here

<3 frances