There was a period earlier in this year when everything felt very stale. But today, I felt a lot different.

I feel a lot more optimistic now and a lot happier with myself. I feel like I have finally moved past the things that I have been dwelling on. For some, things might actually get better. I don't know why I'm thinking that way, but it just feels right.

I feel like I am finally coming to terms with my future for the next four years. The reality of college acceptances and rejections is finally coming into play. I think I'll be fine if I end up in Austin next year. It is definitely one of my top choices. It's one of the top business schools and definitely more academically credible than Brown. Providence, of course, would be my dream come true. I have not wanted anything more in my life, but I think I've matured enough to the point of where I won't kill myself and turn everything away over it. If that's mature.

I think that I've finally closed the chapter of my last relationship. It's not that I don't care anymore. It's more of that the time has come to grow in another direction.... to walk down a different path. Whether or not this new infatuation is anything close to that, I still feel like any ounce of disgust, love, anger, or whatever is truly... gone. I grew a lot from it, and that's what I should be thankful for.

I think I've developed a lot of great close friends as well. People that I can really be open with. We're all screwed up, so it's just amazing to be able to talk about anything. I feel much more normal... in my weird skin. And even with persons that I've kept my distance from this year... tension and such. Sometimes I catch myself almost in the same conversation as her. I don't know why, but it doesn't really feel that awkward. Sometimes I want to laugh. I doubt anything will happen. I haven't really forced anything of it... it's more of my instinct. Sometimes I almost say something, before I realize what's about to happen, and then I stop myself. Maybe we'll fix ourselves. Maybe...

And yeahhh. Work is always good. The weather's good. I've got my prom dress. I've got a cute date that I'm overly excited to go with, lol. I've got friends to depend on. I've got calculus because I really like that class. I've got spare time. I've got things to focus on and feel passionate about. Things to better spend my time with, yeah.

I do eat too much, but otherwise.

Life is good.